Diary of Ellen's Life.

Its so suffocating, knowing its been so long, knowing its time to let go yet a part of me still couldn't. "刪掉你手機的訊息 清空你專屬的抽屜 如果可以的話 多想 從來沒認識過你" I don't even know why i still could feel this way. I don't even know why is it that when it comes to you, i wish that I've never met you. I always thought we would be a circle, ended up we became parallel lines, or even perpendicular lines. We met once, and proved to each other that we were not meant to be. At first, we eagerly moved towards each other like the attraction of the opposites of a magnet. It started off simple, nothing special, nothing worth storytelling but it will always be my favourite. No matter how crappy or bad it seems, i looked forward to something - you making me smile. Then all of a sudden, we gave up on what we promised each other at the start.  I always thought its becos of you that i've started to close off to every possible other. But in the end, i found out its becos o...

I thought it would be interesting to do this every 3 years, to see the difference in the answers. It could be something i could look back to when i grow older. I will be answering all the questions honestly. 1:   Let’s  start  with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?     I am learning how to love myself more, but i kind of dislike the me now than then. Why is that so? 2:   Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?     Yeap i do, & its one of the best message that you can receive from someone who cares for     you, i believe. 3:  I f your significant other smoked pot, would you care?     Still the same, even if its not my significant other, i would still care. 4:  Do you find it easy to trust others?     Not that easy now honestly. 5:   What were you doing at 11PM last night?     I believe i slept early yesterday as i was feeling un...

"The scariest thing about distance is that you don't know whether they'll miss you or forget you." It's 9th of August 2016, and I'm here squeezing out some time to pour my feelings out on my blog as a diary becos i dont ever want to forget this feeling even though it wasn't a really favorable. But through this two months, I've learned to grow, I've learned to cry when i'm hurt, I've learned how to love myself more and I believe I still am trying to learn how to love myself more. Life is held together by the simplest of moments that evolve into a story of cherished memories.  I  have no idea how do i start. Maybe around end-June? I started to close myself off. I don't know how to describe that feeling and that emptiness that i felt during that time. I remember going to school, even though my friends were nearby talking, laughing, i felt lonely. What's weird is that it wasn't becos i felt left out, nothing of that sort. I l...

This is an appreciation post for those who had played a part in my legal 18th birthday, so I thought why not write a post about my 18th birthday as I've many people I want to thank for & I would like to remember what had happened on this day itself. Many things had been going on in January, again. January is never my favourite month but I guess on my birthday, I felt just a little bit more special than usual due to some people who made it special for me. Thank god for you people.  I'm not sure if blogger would allow me to post videos but I'll see what I can do later on!  So let's start with the 11th of January, Monday, where me & my DBE group mates were rushing to get our t-shirts done to get our creativity marks. So on that day, at social hub, nobody wanted to go with me & they asked me to go to the shirt shop alone. Obviously I didn't want to as I am a bad decision maker trust me, I don't like to make decisions myself. So in the end luckily,...

Heyheyhey, well when I'm writing this. it's 2:00am of 7th Jan? Hahaha it's a Thursday & I have a 8am class tomorrow but I guess I just wanted to write a post. Happy New Year everyone, it's 2016! I had many resolutions in 2015, but doubt I did even achieve everything hahaha. A year flew by so quickly. Thank you Facebook for reminding me what happened years ago of this day. So 29th Decemeber 2014, I think? I was tagged in this video. So a year later, Facebook reminded me & it seemed like just a day ago. Many things changed in 2015, many people left in 2015, many experiences I went through & many new people I met. I'm thankful for everything that happened, & am grateful that from everything. I learned something. I grew up basically speaking. I have a few people who still stood by me, ever since 2015, no doubt. Joey, Sai, Yanjie, Huishan, HuiEn, Sendjaja, WeiHeng, Marcus who else? many more. But there were also a few whom was dear to my heart who left, n...