"What's valentines without you"

This post was requested. But i'm feeling so drained out becos i just had a camp and my phone recently died on me. So my data was all lost and i spent like my whole day at the service centre to just get a new phone. :(  But i swear this post of mine will make a lot of people cringe. Legit so disclaimer to those who's not interested.

People who knows me should know the exact reason why i cherish friendships so much. Becos the only thing i was afraid is falling into deep ai with someone, then become strangers and so on...
But you can never control your feelings, that i have to admit. You never can stop your feelings, asking yourself not to fall. Even knowing that nobody will be there to catch you when you fall. You will still fall. So i did i guess.

So this one day, i saw myself smiling from ear to ear from a text message. I saw myself replying to every single message of this someone. | thats already very weird of me okay becos i never does reply to every single message of my friends. ((so guilty)) | I found myself very differently near this anon. I found myself just thinking of what ifs with this anon. I found myself being not able to experience anything without wishing the other person were there to see it too. Thats how i know my new was taken. SO CHEESY that even myself is cringing....... but ohwell.

Thank you for coming into my life. I have never said it before to you. But thank you for being my rainbow after the rain. Thank you for being my energy pill that i would want to stay up at night despite me being so drained out to just have a talk with you. Thank you for being so possessive yet adorable at the same time. Thank you for being the straw to my berry. Thank you for being the one i always look forward to talking to and thank you for always being so honest about your feelings. I have no idea why i could fell so hard either. But I'm sorry if i may come off as very clingy to you, I'm sorry if i'm unreasonable at times, I'm sorry if i am overbearing at times, I'm sorry if i fall asleep while talking to you (but this i think you owe me lots of sorry for that instead) I'm sorry at times when i don't have the courage and faith to fight for us. I'm sorry if i'm too emotional at times. BUT HELLO I THINK ALL GIRLS DOES & lastly, having no guts. 

BESIDES peabrain, bae, my sister, jaja; You was always the one i will want to run to when i meet any trouble. You was always the one i hope will always stay in my life no matter when or where. I know i am a very hard person to ai okay, but when i ai, i ai hard. HAHAA. Be honoured. But you also stop being so bastard. >: Why do i feel like sometimes, you treat me worse than ANYONE ELSE. But if you ask me what are some things i xihuan and bu xihuan about you is that, I like you being really smart, being like the person who knows everything that i dont. I like that you are very different to me than to others. I xihuan that you dont hide yourself from me. I xihuan that you are very sincere in everything you does. But if you ask me which moment, It would be when you're serious. Like in any aspects when you're serious either at work, or studies or something you really want to work hard for. (maybe becos i always see you not serious) That determination i saw when you taught me shuxue on the white table which i think you would have forgotten about it hehehe. But i saw how true you were in teaching me. I like that you can make me feel very different from many other people, and you're the only one. What i buxihuan about you is only the fact that you're the only one who could make me feel very different from others. HAHAHAHAHA. 

Speaking honestly, I have thought of giving up. Holding onto those feelings sometimes got too tired. "You get bored easily." thats what they say. To them, i move on too easily. I put my phone aside too easily, ignored the texts so easily, reject the calls and move on to the next guy so simply. Yes it's true to some point that i get bored and tired of things very easily. But i hope you would be the last person to think that i would move on so easily. I hope even at the end of road, it doesnt work out; we would still be close friends like how we were. I hope even during the hardest journey that we could be embarking on, you dont give up on me unless i do and i ask you to.

Lastly, i just would like to say thank you again, for letting me realise why it didnt work out with anyone else,

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