This is my oath to you.

Hey people from the other parts of the world, It's almost a month ever since i last written a blog post. I had came back from my hometown, (achievement unlocked!) Will probably blog about my holidays back then, but this post is exclusively for my feelings and feelings. It might come off as an annoying post to some of you becos its just rants. Okay, not rants. Just my normal daily routine and how am i feeling nowadays.

So a few days, i went for the countdown with my happypill and a few any others. I got really pissed off with a friend and i guess myself too. So this friend of mine, we were actually talking pretty well at first. I mean he was upset and he teared abit, i was comforting him and all, and when the clock strikes 1159, all of us of course shouted HappyNewYear. But he on the other hand, was crying to his phone. When i asked him why, he replied saying that his girlfriend didn't wish him. I mean I could understand why he was upset amd i would be upset too if i had a boyfriend and my boyfriend didnt wish me, BUT the point was, there were his friends around. I was around. How can he be just so oblivious to everything and just focus on one thing? You've to be happy. Love isnt anything, but to him. I was really upset and worried for him becos he ran off from us and there were tons of people.

That night was just ridiculous. I ran around finding for him but to not avail. At last, i called his girlfriend to check on him to find out that he replied her? Yet he didn't reply my long text, I was like ooooh okay, i understand i'm not as of importance to you than her. I could understand that. But what i couldn't understand was what he said to me after that. He was like saying something like, i've to be happy that he replied me becos he had decided to throw his phone away. And he was saying other people are happy on new years except him. Dude, its you, yourself who arent keeping yourself happy, and when i joked around with him saying i wasnt happy that he ran off'; He told me this and that got me really angry and upset with myself, I have myself to blame, but at the same time, I learned that he wasn't even a friend to me.

  

"I dont treat anyone as sisters nor brothers anymore nor do i have any bestfriends, everybody leaves one day, learnt that from you."

Thanks a lot dude.

If you learned that everybody leaves one day thanks to me, i sincerely apologise. But have you ever asked yourself even if you've held onto this friendship of us? Have you ever trusted me like a friend? I dont want to compare you with Sai, but whats the difference? Have you gotten any idea how hurt i was? I'm still human dude. I aint some robots that have no god damn feelings that you could just say things like that. You got me worried shit, but that incident made me realise that my worries for you are just not worth a bit. New Year was supposed to be a good day for me and all, the countdown was supposed to be a good one. But you just destroyed it all. 

This is for you. I've had enough.

But thank god the next day, Sai asked me out for dinner to go see our little brother lu work, Damn. He was so responsible and all. Couldnt get the image of him working out of my eyes hahaha. How can our little brother be this matured right? Oh wells, I had a simple catch up with Sai and that's all i need. He's just my guardian angel. Always appearing when i need him to, I never told him things like how my other friends reprimands me and all becos' i know he trust me enough. Enough to understand that i could handle this. and neither do i want him to think that all of these happened becos he came into my life. HA, Its becos of him then i found out who are my true friends and who are not before 2014 ended so tragically. I will and never ever want to lose Sai from my life. Never in my whole life, We're best friends till the end. He wrote me a song and I guess i'll end of this dramatic and awuful post with a song that he had written for me. The first ever song that i cried listening to becos he had been telling me that he's gonna write me a song and sing it for me ever since last few years, and he finally did it today. HAHA I love him. I love you sai. hehehe. I know you'll be like " Ewwww " and all but love you till the end. Also during in amanda's party, it should be me who should be thanking you but i have no guts. HA HA HA.

"There was a time i didnt treat zune as my best friend." "True or false?" "Its False."
At first i said True becos honestly, there were times i felt like i fail as a best friend to you, I have no idea what to do sometimes to help you. I just feel like you are unlucky to have me as your best friend. Its ABSOLUTELY not becos i doubt you. Its becos i really do feel that i'm not fit to be your best friend. but oh wells, i love you still. hehe. Love you now and love you always.

"When i was down and i didnt have nowhere to turn to,

You were the only one who stood beside me,

When i was lost and I couldn't find my way home,

You were the only one who guided me,

You're my best friend till the end,

No matter when or where,

You're my best friend till the end, 

No matter when or where,
Sai.

When i was weak and I didnt have no one to lean on,

You were the only one who held me, 

When i was not myself and tried to pretend,

You were the only one who saw through me, 

You're my best friend till the end,

No matter when or where,

You're my best friend till the end,

No matter when or where,

Sai.

Through all my ups and downs,

You were always around, 

You know all my demons and secrets,

Still you never gave any judgement,

So I'll always be there for you,

Like you always been there for me too,

You're my best friend till the end,

No matter when or where,

You're my best friend till the end,

Sai."

How lucky am i to have you.


Lights off ellen.