Thank you for the privilege of time & rest, 2020. Hello 2021.

 I survived a pandemic! (kinda....?)  Today is the 3rd of Jan, 2021. It has been raining heavily nonstop for the past 2 days. 

I do not know what made me want to come here to jot down my feelings for the year of 2020. This blog became like a diary of mine that nobody would read. 2020 was the year that I was given with sufficient amount of rest and time. It would be one of the few of many years that I would probably remember as it was peaceful and just a lot of rest time for me. 

2020 made me realise how much I had not been giving myself time to rest and to give myself me-time. I think within 2020, I also found peace in my previous broken friendship and relationship. I accepted it and I am proud to say that I have moved on. I no longer check his/her profiles. It was finally the year I realised how silly I was. There are so many people that loves me, there are so many people that cherishes me. 

My schedule/calendar for the year 2020 was so blank and clear that I felt happy. Now at the moment, I dare to say that my schedule till at least mid-Feb is packed. I should also be doing my dissertation but the sudden feeling made me want to come here to write a post. I have many groups of friends that spoils me and I am ever more than grateful to know that I have both the quantity and quality of friends at the same time. 

How do I go about explaining 2020? Let me summarise it into keywords first.

Batam with Han, circuit breaker, driving, work from home, 1m social distancing, masks, facetime calls, lesser texts, hand sanitisers, webex meetings, late night groceries, surprise friends food deliveries, rediscovering old hk dramas, the untamed, YWY, 酸辣粉, doing exercises, playing club penguin/audition/get rich, books, h2h talks, baking, making smoothies, following tiktok trends, dalgona coffee, microwave cafe, dumplings, writing more diaries, creating weibo to stalk BJYX, messengers tuition, use phone charge ipad use ipad charge phone, aircon water leak, mosquitoes, insect repellent making, fighting with siblings, cleaning of the house, understand how it felt like without macs and boba, e-lectures, online exams, looking through old photographs, beautiful sunsets, lotsssss of naps, meet ups with old friends, catching up with old friends online, fragment room, mahjong sessions.


And of course this year, I realised that what's broken will never be the same again no matter how much you try to mend it. Family is the only thing that can break me into pieces and I think this year was the year that I am at the brink. Many do not know since I do not like sharing anything about my family. But I pray that my family always stay safe and healthy in all sorts of form. Many small events throughout 2020 made me realise how much everyone should cherish those that you love that is still by your side. And this year, I am proud of myself that I did not text or get back in touch with those that no longer loves me. 
For the first half of 2020, I was genuinely happy. I think I am low-key an introvert that does not like going out. Face time and video calls with my friends were all that I was looking forward to. 

When COVID-19 started, I was quite bumped for those countries that is not as advanced as Singapore, in terms of technology as it could mean that many would lose their jobs and their incomes. I was also thankful even that I could keep my job and thankfully for my company, they also made sure to compensate us for our hard work for the last financial year by giving us our bonus in the month of June. I am guilty to say that I have yet to make a donation which I have promised. Please do forgive me as it was for my school fees. Speaking of that, I am going to graduate in April 2021 and honestly, I am afraid yet excited as it meant that I no longer have an excuse. Having a degree at the age of 23 is really a privilege for me.

This is also the year I got closer to the two Ms, Melvin and Marcus. Think they're the two guys that is really gentle towards me and really treats me well. Marcus even got me a present this year for my birthday! All in all, I am excited for what 2021 holds for me. I am thinking of taking up a real estate course to upgrade myself, but I am not sure if real estate is still the one for me. This year is the year I suddenly felt unfair for myself and my siblings that we at this age, we had to start to fend for ourselves. Comparing to many people out there, I am sure that we are more lucky. But also to many out there, we are on the losing end yet we were able to mature early due to the circumstances we were thrown into.

 I pray that 2021 be kinder to the 3 of us, be kinder to my mum, be kinder to my dad and be kinder to those that loves me. 



                                                                          Signing off, Ellen


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